Wash Me January 28, 2009

Awhile ago I told you all about my love for the laundry detergent called ECOS.  Well, I’ve found something just as good and very very cheap.

For those of you who buy ECOS for about $18/6L, approx. 100 washes- imagine doing the same amount of laundry for $1.50. 

All you need is:

1/3 cup washing soda

1/3 cup Borax

1/2 sunlight laundry bar

6 L of water

Grate 1/2 of a sunlight laundry bar into 1 L of boiling water.  Stir until no lumps remain.  Remove from heat.  Stir in washing soda and Borax.  Mix until well combined.  Add remaining 5 L of water.  Mix well. 

Add 1/4 c. of this to each wash load.  

Once my ECOS bottle was empty, I just reused it to hold this new washing liquid.  Works great!

 

All these ingredients will cost approx. $10-$12 total but you should easily be able to make 4 jugs of detergent. 

 

Let me know if you try it and what you think!

Thanks to my mom for sharing this recipe she found with me.

A New Year January 6, 2009

A whole year has passed since I started up this blog! Hard to believe.  I have to say I’m quite happy with the progress I made on my on-going resolutions. I’d consider 2008 a great year healthwise! We made a lot of healthy changes, got a lot more active (well, not so much in those last  freezing cold winter months) and I did manage to lose some of the weight I wanted to.  I’d consider our home to be a healthy, clean one and all the things I was trying hard to do have now become habit.

This year I plan to continue on with what I started in 2008 and add a bit more to the mix.  This year I want to pay a lot more attention to what I eat and to what I feed the girls.  This likely won’t lead back down the path of vegetarianism but more so on eating a whole foods diet, with a specific emphasis on what we eat between meals.  That’s the area where I need some work. Much easier to throw the girls a bowl of Goldfish than it is to cut up some apple and cheese slices. Easier for me to grab a handful of pretzels than it is to cut up some veggies and dip. Worth the effort though.  Effort that I will put in this year.

I also want to continue with my weight loss as I seem to have found some of those “lost” pounds over the holidays.  I’m not going to diet though.  Only contiue eating healthily, eating whole foods and making more effort to stay active, even over the winter when my activity might have to revolve around the weather and finding things to do indoors.

One resolution that got missed last year was working on the spirituality aspect of our lives.  This year we are going to go to church, get in the habit and keep going.  I think we made it less than half a dozen times in 2008.  Our goal for this year is atleast twice a month. For me spirituality extends beyond the walls of a church and beyond religion so I do want to work on those aspect of it at home as well.

Jordan and I are also determined to go on weekly dates.  We seem to hardly get out anymore and we miss that time! We do spend most evenings at home together watching t.v., playing a game, etc. but it’s different when you don’t have to listen for the baby’s cry and feel the desire to maybe splash on a little make up and head out for a night out.

And last but not least we want to focus more on the simple living that we truly desire.  We don’t plan any renos this year (besides shingles, out of neccessity) and hope to spend our time outside, doing things more in the moment, building our friendships and saving up that money we would have spend on a new deep soaker tub (sigh! … maybe one day) to go on a trip together. By ourselves. Some place warm.

What are your resolutions for the year?

It’s in the Air December 16, 2008

I thought this may be a good read for some.  As I stated in previous posts, I don’t use these types of things in our home but I know that many people do.  I got this article from MSN website.

“Our homes and businesses stink. Or that’s the impression you might get from the media. Clean, welcoming homes are associated with fresh scents, and busy wives and mothers can rely on air fresheners to give their home a boost. The ads feature happy family members sniffing carpets and enthusiastically inhaling the freshly-scented air.

Sure, it’s a bit of an exaggeration, but what are we really breathing in when we use these products?

It’s no surprise that we don’t want unpleasant smells around. After all, we spend an average of 90 per cent of our time indoors (according to Health Canada), and we’re willing to pay to make our environments more pleasant. Air fresheners are a booming business — it’s a $200 million market in Canada, and an estimated three out of five Canadians use these products in their homes. Air fresheners also appear in many public places including offices and institutions.

However, fragranced products are anathema for people with chemical sensitivities and allergies — and new research is warning that air fresheners can pose a threat to everyone. Air fresheners contain chemicals that mask odours or deaden or interfere with our sense of smell. Some chemicals actually line the inside of the nasal passage.

But where is the proof scientific proof?

Air fresheners have been the focus of a few studies over the past couple of years. A 2007 European study published in the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine found that regularly using fragranced sprays increased the risk of asthma by as much as 50 per cent. Another study by the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) found that most sprays, gels and plug in air fresheners it tested contained phthalates (known hormone disruptors), even if they were labelled as “all-natural” or “unscented”.

But that’s not all… In July 2008, a University of Washington study published in Environmental Impact Assessment found that six top-selling fragranced products (three of which were air fresheners) contained nearly 100 volatile organic compounds (VOCs). Ten of those VOCs are classified as toxic under U.S. Laws. Further research is underway.

In addition, scientists in Korea found that many household products such as air fresheners emit toxic compounds. All 42 products they tested contained acetone, ethanol, limonene, perchloroethylene (PCE), phenol, and 1-propanol. Another 10 per cent of products also contained other potentially hazardous chemicals.

Closer to home, the CBC recently tested air fresheners currently available in Canada. They found that nearly one third contained DBP and/or DEP (the same two phthalates banned from children’s toys in 12 European countries). The phthalates are used to make the scent last longer.

While many people are questioning the safety of these products, not everyone agrees. Companies that produce these products claim they are safe and that they meet all safety regulations. Further, they claim that the levels of any chemicals present are too low to be harmful and that the studies as misleading.

Trade associations such as the Consumer Specialty Products Association (CSPA) also say air fresheners are safe. The CSPA’s website says that the items are subject to strict standards and that manufacturers choose chemicals with low toxicity. The products do not contain known cancer-causing ingredients and are not known to cause or exacerbate asthma. In addition, its consumer information attributes health benefits like reduced stress, increased productivity and enhanced mood with the use of “air care” products.

There are currently no recalls of these products due to health concerns, and no government agencies have issued any warnings to consumers based on the results of these studies.

So what’s the bottom line for consumers? As is usually the case with allegedly harmful chemicals and products, more research and investigation is required. A direct causal link between the product and specific disease states is hard to prove, and the risks to children, pets and the environment haven’t been thoroughly investigated.

In the meantime, there isn’t much information available for curious and concerned shoppers. Currently, manufacturers in Canada and the U.S. aren’t required to list all of the ingredients on the packaging. As a result, University of Washington researcher Anne Steinemann argues that consumers don’t have enough information about these products, and may even have a false sense of security about the information they do have. She, and many other researchers and activists, advocate that people need more access to information about the products they come into contact with on a daily basis, and laws need to provide better protection for customers. …”

To read the rest of the article, click here.

Changes & Updates October 6, 2008

I haven’t done an update post in awhile. 

I was thinking this morning about the goals I had set for the year and if I had really done much to work on them.

My first post said I was going to work on becoming more green/environmentally friendly, working on my parenting, spirituality, ‘me’ time, weight loss and eating healthy.  I think I’ll do an update on each area.

Green/Environmentally Friendly

This was an area that was definitely already in progress before the start of this blog.  We’ve continued to use natural cleaners in our home, continue to recycle, etc.  This year we have made an effort to walk where we can (weather permitting), have tried harder to reduce our waste and reuse what we can.    We are always on the lookout for healthier, greener options for our home.

Parenting

This year I’ve been trying to consciously work on the way I communicate with the girls, mostly Abby in this situation.  Watching how what I say and how I say it impacts the way it is reacted to.  I’ve read a few books on the topic and try to put my knowlegde to use.

Spirituality

There hasn’t been much growth in this area, to be honest.  Spirituality in the sense of self-awareness, self-discovery – yes.  We are planning FOR REAL to start going back to church this month.  It’s something that is important to Jordan and I know that it is something that could again be a positive thing in our lives.

Me time

I have found that I am taking more time for myself.  Even if it’s just a few minute here and there.  Whatever the case, I’m not feeling starved for alone time anymore so that must mean something is going right.  In fact, as soon as I hit ‘publish’ on this post I am headed out to shopping, lunch and an afternoon at the spa ALL BY MYSELF!  

Weight Loss/Exercise

If I remember correctly, I have lost about 20 lbs since the beginning of the year.  Around 40 since I had Josie one year ago.  I’d still like to lose 5-10 more lbs but realize that these last pounds come off more slowly.  This summer I have walked a lot with the girls and taken a yoga class.  This fall I have begun exercising a few times a week at home doing things like the stationary bike, yoga and workout videos.  I have been majorly slacking these past two weeks since we’ve been so busy but it is definitely something I am enjoying, am able to realistically do with the girls around and that I plan to continue on with.

Healthy Eating

Our eating habits have gone back and forth a few times this year.  Right now we mainly are eating fish and chicken at home.  More lenient when we are out to eat, occasionally having beef.  We are settled into a diet that I am happy with.  Healthy and balanced.  Balanced includes pizza every Thursday night.

 

Now for some changes I plan around this blog.

1) I get quite a few e-mails/facebook messages/comments asking me more questions about what I’ve said.  I find that I am responding and having to type the same things over and over.  So instead, if I do happen to do a post that generates questions, I will have a follow-up post answering any questions a few days later.  I think that will save me a lot of time and also provide those interested with more info.

2) I’ve always tried to make my blog feel more personal and not attack people with stats, even though I love statistics.  But I have now decided that I will be trying to do somewhere in the middle.  Still making it personal and sharing my opinions but backing myself up with a lot of statistics, quotes, etc.  For example, 90% of what I said in my childbirth post a few days ago is fact proven by statistics.  I think perhaps that entry would have been more appreciated and better understood had I included stats, quotes from ob/gyns graduated from Ivy League schools, etc. rather than just me sounding like I’m pushing my opinions for my agenda.  I actually look forward to doing this since I think stats hit people a little harder than things like “This is what I think ….”

3) I hope to have a lot more conversation and discussing in the comments section.  Not that I’m looking for more comments but I will definitely be encouraging others to share their opinions, thoughts and ideas.  I love hearing different viewpoints.  When someone disagrees with me I always enjoy researching the topic a little further.  Sometimes doing that validates my opinions even more and sometimes I get a new spin on an old topic. 

Anyway, that’s my fall update.  Thanks for reading and a special thanks to all of you who wrote me this past week to support me, those of you who saw comments that knew would be hurtful and e-mailed to send their encouragement, those who wrote to ask that I do keep posting about things I am passionate about. It’s so appreciated!

The Last Time October 3, 2008

Looks like I’ll be sticking to posts about natural cleaners and recycling. ;)

My last post obviously stirred up some emotions in some, myself included.  I was really hurt by some of the things said because it is something I hold near and dear.  It’s odd for me because I never let  the blogging world get me down, never really care much about who says what in my comments.  But I’ve had a long, tiring week and the words that were left in the comments stung.  I hope those of you who know me, those of you who’s opinions of me I value, do know that I didn’t post in judgement.  The comments that I found hurtful weren’t ones that simply disagreed with me. I always welcome different opinions and I know that we don’t all think alike.  It was other stuff in the comments that upset me.

The one part of my post that I do think was poorly written by me was when I said something along the lines of “childbirth, done right.” I ended up going a bit of a different direction with my post and so that line was likely taken out of context.  I did not mean to suggest that there is only one right way to do it but can definitely understand why that line was taken that way. 

It was simply a post to encourage us as women to get informed and find out what is best for our bodies, what is best for our babies.  And that is all.

Bounty September 11, 2008

I have to share with you all something I’ve been doing for the past few weeks.  I went to a local organic grocery store and signed up for their “bin service”.  With this service, you give them a dollar amount and then each week they have a bin of delicious organic produce for you.  You can choose to have it delivered or picked up.  I am LOVING this!

Why do I love it so?  Let me count the ways.

1) It’s convenient.  I have an assortment of fruits and veg waiting for me in a container labeled with my name.   I pick it up. I take it home.  The end.

2) It’s introducing new things to our dinner table.  I haven’t received anything too exotic yet but there have been a few things in there that I don’t normally buy.  It’s neat to have more variety of fruits and veggies in our diet.  It’s making me try new things and expand on my current veggie recipes.

3) It’s all organic.  Organic produce is getting easier to find in most centres but you usually have a limited selection.  I can always find organic apples, lettuce, carrots and bananas but green beans, canteloupe, oranges, etc. are a little harder to find. Until now.

4) I like the mystery. The surprise.  Each week the girls and I go to pick up our bin and get in the car and root through it like it’s a treasure chest. “What did we get this week?!” I holler into the backseat and then start calling out names of the fruits and veggies in our bin. 

5) It’s actually saving me money.  I didn’t expect that.  But the produce is such high quality that it lasts a bit longer, ripens properly and is always delish.  From the regular grocery store I’m constantly buying peaches that never ripen, tasteless necatarines that just get thrown out, bananas that somehow just go from green to brown, skipping the yellow stage all together.  I’m throwing a whole lot less out.

6) In the winter I may choose to go with the delivery option and pay a couple extra dollars a week so I don’t have to leave the house.  How sweet is that?

7) It’s supporting a local business and Canadian grown produce. 

8 ) It’s peaked Abby (and Jordan’s!) interest in fruits and veggies. They are eager to try the new things I bring home.

 

So that’s it.  I’m really enjoying this.  The picture above is my bin from today. Lettuce, tomatoes, nectarines, plums, apples, oranges, yellow beans, canteloupe, carrots, bananas. yum!

The Place Where You Live August 20, 2008

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately so naturally, I brought my thoughts here to share with you all.

 

Jordan and I sometimes toss around the idea of moving.  Although Summerland is our ideal dream (because although a fairly wealthy town, I think it does fall under the catergory of what I’m describing below), these moves I’m going to refer to are local ones. While we like our house and some of our neighbours, this isn’t the area I’d like to raise my kids in.  I don’t know why.  It’s just a typical middle class neighbourhood. And I definitely HATE living on street that we do.  Too busy.

We always keep our eye on the market and houses that pop up for sale in a certain subdivision here called ‘Cathedral’.  It’s an old, old, area.  With Elm trees that reach over the streets, meeting the middle.  The houses are all character homes from the early nineteen hundreds. But the neighbourhood is bursting with character.  You’ll find more people wearing flowy skirts and dread locks than brand name clothing.   More people sitting on corner cafes talking to each other instead of on cell phones.  Many people in the neighbourhood don’t even own a vehicle but rely on their feet and public transportation and do this by choice.  The neighbourhood has a butcher, a bakery, cute little shops selling clothing, specialty teas and a few doctors and dentists.  Children are outside running! and playing! instead of sitting around texting each other.  On one corner you’ll see a wealthy family in their home and on the other, someone picking through a dumpster for leftover.  An artsy community, often throwing street fairs to sell their creations. Completely my cup of tea.  I’m a bit of a hippe at heart.  It’s diverse, for sure.  But I want my kids to see that. There are a variety of people with a variety of incomes but everyone there seems to have the same ideals. All like minded. O.k. not everyone. Just everyone I know who lives there. I’d love to live in a neighbourhood like that.

Some thinks it’s odd that I wouldn’t be dying to send my kids to one of the schools in a wealthy neighbourhood.  I really want them to go to school with kids who don’t get everything they want, who don’t all have cell phones by grade 6 and who have a little appreciation and respect for the people, the things, the nature around them.

I’m dreaming … I know.  I don’t think there are many of those kids that exist anymore and definitely not a whole school full of them.

And then sometimes Jordan and I dream of buying a place out of town.  Some place close enough to commute to work but just far enough away that it feels like we are out in the country.  A big garden that will hopefully help turn my black thumb green, a clothesline, a big yellow school bus trekking down gravel roads to pick up the girls and take them to their little school with small class rooms.

After typing this I just realized the common trend.  The key to what I’m looking for. Simplicity. A simple life. Something a little more ‘back to basics’.

Anyone know where or how I can find that without joining a religious colony?

I’ve Lost Him August 12, 2008

Jordan has been so supportive and in favor of all the changes we’ve been making.  From our diets, to new ideas about what the girls should and shouldn’t be exposed to, to trying to leave a smaller footprint on the earth.  He never makes fun.  Always asks good questions.  He’s usually happy to be along for the ride.

Until now.

He thinks I’ve lost it.  He’s making fun of me.  He calls me names like “crazy” and “psycho” and has mastered a not-so-nice impression of me.

You see, for a few months now I feel like I’ve been affected by things that I see.  They make me feel bad.  Like violent movies and t.v. shows, for example.  I really noticed when we were watching the last season of 24.  I had my eyes closed most of the time, my heart felt funny and my stomach sick.  I had to ask myself why I thought it was o.k. to watch people being torchered and killed.  And for those of you who are anything like Jordan, YES! I know it’s not real.  But I really feel like I’ve become calloused to a lot of these things.  And, here’s where I get “crazy” apparently, I feel like all these things you see become a part of who you are.  (It’s o.k. You can snicker.  My husband does right to my face.)  I think it hardens our hearts, introduces negative energies, feelings, thoughts.  I learned so much about how our bodies, minds, hormones even, react to seeing stuff like that and well, it’s not that good.  Do I really want to release stress hormones into my body just so I can watch the Joker kill someone? Not really.  But more than physical, what’s bothering me more is the mental and emotional. 

The last straw for me was when Jordan and I went to go see the Dark Knight a few weeks back.  I had my eyes closed a lot, looking like a 6 year old wussy girl, I’m sure.  But I just don’t like seeing stuff like that. I’ve always been like that.  I could never watch a fight in highschool because it made me sick to my stomach.  Even though I used to like scary movies, truthfully, my hands covered my face half the time.

I guess for me it’s like this.  You wouldn’t want to surround yourself with negative, downer people, right?  I feel the same way about being around violence, whether it be in real life or on t.v.  Real or fake.  Just gives me the same types of feelings. Brings me down the same way.

So I told Jordan I’m done.  Maybe for a long while or maybe I just need a break.  I don’t know.

He asked me if I was implying that he should stop too. And no, I wasn’t.  I think it’s a personal choice.  If it doesn’t bother and affect him the way it does me, I see no reason why he can’t go on watching whatever he chooses.  He’s been watching movies alone more often lately.

As for me, I see enough of that junk on t.v. in the evening news, read about it in the papers and get a glimpse of all the horror I can handle when I watch documentaries & read stories about the women and children in Africa.  I don’t need more of it and I certainly don’t need it to “entertain me”.

So there you have it.  I’ve gone mad.

Milk It August 4, 2008

We are right in the middle of Breastfeeding Awareness Week. So, to show my support and to help bring awareness, I’ve decided to post this entry on both this and my A Little Bit of Us blog.

Not breastfeeding wasn’t ever even an option for me. I never had to make the decision because it’s just what everyone does, right?

I went into nursing Abby misinformed and underinformed. Nursing started off really well but by about 2 1/2 months I was having trouble with supply. So by three months, I quit and started her on formula. Never thought much of it until I got pregnant again and decided that this around I was going to be much more educated on pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding.

I’m certain now that I could have continued nursing Abby if I would have been more knowledgeable. I am currently studying for both my doula and breastfeeding counsellor certificates, as many of you know. I am so convinced now that about 99.9% of women out there CAN breastfeed, even if they’ve been told they can’t, think they have supply issues or something physical holding them from nursing their babes. I’m reading a book for my course called Breastfeeding Made Simple and it’s absolutely fantastic. My mind is bursting with new information, pounding with tidbits I can’t wait to share with others and I am learning that so much of what I thought was true is actually a myth. I recommend this book to anyone and everyone who is nursing and/or planning to nurse. It’s one of those books that I think should be required reading for expectant moms. Read it. I love what I’m learning and wish I would have known a bit more when I had Abby so I could have continued on with this healthy habit for both her and I. I thought I was pretty informed about breastfeeding but I can now say I’m stunned at what I DIDN’T know.

Among the things I’m learning is just how vitally important breastfeeding is for babies’ health, how formula will never come close to the perfection that is breastmilk and how so many women are misinformed, even by their well-meaning doctors. I really don’t like to shove information at people or throw my opinions down people’s throats but there is just so much wonderful information in this book that I just want everyone to know.

I expected nursing Josie to be simple. I enjoyed nursing and I had been there, done that. um… no. Unlike with Abby, we got off to a rocky start. Things were going so rough for the first two weeks that I would dread the moment when Josie started showing signs of hunger. I experienced much discomfort that led to nipple distortion, bleeding, bruising and engorgement. Thankfully!! I have a friend, Amy, who is a La Leche League leader and I called her to come over to save my weary, tired, post partum soul. She saved me. I am so grateful for how she helped me. She came over, watched me painfully nurse Josie and within 5 minutes, had Josie nursing PAIN FREE. Pain free! I suffered for two or three weeks and all it took was a phone call and five minutes and it was over. Turned out Josie just had a shallow latch. Amy sat and visited with me while Josie nursed and nursed and nursed. She drank all she could, rolled over and zonked out so hard, milk drunk. I never had trouble again. Oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t say that. Josie has two bottom teeth and this week has taken to trying them out on me. Awesome.

Anyway, to sum up I just wanted to say that if you need help or are experiencing any pain- GET HELP. It shouldn’t hurt and it should be peaceful and wonderful for you and your baby. If you don’t think you can breastfeed, think again. You most likely can. Call a La Leche League leader or a lactation consultant in you area. From what I understand, La Leche League leaders work voluntarily so this is a great option if you don’t have the money to pay someone to come out and help you. And before you start nursing, get informed, learn how to prevent problems and ask any and all questions you might have. That would have saved me the first time around.

Here are some website and contact info:

One of the best websites on breastfeeding, solving problems, etc.: http://www.kellymom.com/

La Leche League website, monthly meeting info, help, contact info, etc.: http://www.llli.org/

Dr. Jack Newman, the superman of breastfeeding, including videos: http://www.drjacknewman.com/

Others:

http://www.breastfeeding.com/

http://www.breastfeedingmadesimple.com/

Breast really is best.

Why I Chose to be a Stay At Home Mom July 30, 2008

This post has been stewing in my head for about a week.  I’ve been trying to get my thoughts and emotions in order so I don’t come off sounding judgemental, crazy or like I’m a 50’s housewife.  I’m not sure that’s going to happen but do know that I’m going into this with good intentions.

 

The timing of this post is actually quite funny.  A long time friend of mine did a post a few days ago about her journey and her feelings on being a stay at home mom.  While this is by no means intended to be a rebuttal, her words did spark some more ideas for this post. Then today in Maclean’s magazine I read a couple articles on topics close to this and again got inspired to write about why I made the decision I did.

 

A little background on me.  As a preteen, I think I would have been considered a little budding feminist.  I got books out from the library on great women of our time, I was all “I don’t need no man!” and so on.  My two younger sisters aspired to be housewives and I thought they were crazy idiots.  (sorry girls!) You see, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a journalist or a travel agent or a lawyer but I knew I wasn’t going to live my life canning fruit and taking kids to the park. 

Flash forward 10 years.  Both my little sisters have more education than I do, both enjoy being part of the work force, both bringing home the bacon.  And me? I’m everything I used to think I’d hate to be and I love it.

I think little by little I started to break down.  I wanted to marry when I was in my late twenties.  But then there was Jordan and I wanted to marry him NOW.  I married at 19. (In retrospect- WHAT?! 19. I see 19 year olds now and just about die when I think I was married at that age.)  Well, now I wanted to be just that young double income couple doing our own thing, jet setting around the world, eating fine foods and staying out late every night.  And then came Abby. I was 21.  From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew my working days were numbered.

 

I think it is so important to stay home with your kids.  I do.  I’ll say it.  I think if you can, you should.  I know that isn’t a popular opinion because most people don’t.  For me, I just can’t possibly imagine anything more important than your children, being there to raise them and being there for each milestone, big or small, throughout their lives.   I know that’s a touchy subject so I’m going to back away from it now and explain why it IS for me.

 

For Jordan and I, the decision for me to stay home was a no -brainer.  We wanted the relationship with our children, we wanted them raised a certain way, with certain morals and values, we wanted them surrounded by love, peace & happiness.  We wanted a listening ear to always be available or a hug and kiss when they are feeling blue.  It’s undisputable, there’s no one out there who loves them, cares for them, cherishes them as much or as deeply as we do as their parents.  So who better for the job?

At first I thought I’d stay home until my youngest was in elementary school and then head back part time. But the more I think about it and the more people I talk to, the less I understand this logic.  I know some parents who work until their kids are in school and then stay home because it’s been said that older kids need their parents more than babies and toddlers (which I disagree with to some extent.  I think they just need them in different ways.)  I can’t imagine applying that logic to say, your marriage.  “Honey, let’s both work our butts off the first few years of our marriage so we can stock pile our money and then we’ll be so happy.”  I don’t think so.  Your marriage will lack that vital foundation and you’ll have missed out on those precious first few years together when the relationship is so fresh and vulnerable and needs to be built upon.  I think the same would happen with parenting.  I can’t imagine not being around much for the first few years of my kids lives and then expect to step in and say “I’m here now.”  There are parts of a relationship with a child that can ONLY be built in those first years.  That’s fact.  Not at all implying that you can’t have a great relationship with your child if you only truly begin in the later years but there are bonds and attachments made very early on that you can’t rewind and redo.

So now, after being a stay at home mom since November 2004, I think this ‘career’ is going to be a long lasting one.  I want to be that mom who can come to school when my kindergartener threw up all over her desk, the mom who always has something tasty at the bake sale, the mom who gets on the school bus with the kids to go on the field trips, the mom who writes goofy notes and puts them in our lunch boxes, the mom who is waiting at home after school with a healthy snack and welcoming arms, ready to listen to all the tales from the day.  Because that’s what my mom was and I think I’m a better person, a better mom, because of it.  I can’t imagine having to had lock the door behind me as I headed out to the school bus, came home to an empty house or had nothing to bring to the bake sale.  I think we very wrongly assume what is important to children.  It isn’t the toys, the fancy vacations or the trendy clothes, it’s the small things that I’ve just mentioned.

 

My mind is just whirling right now. I have so much to say. I have so much information and evidence to back me up.  I know I’m holding back with this post, with fears of offending others mostly.  Anyway …

Want to hear about my day so far? A typical day. 

I woke up and nursed Josie, played with her and fed her breakfast.  She went down for her morning nap about 10 minutes before Abby even woke up for the day.  Abby woke up and wanted me to snuggle her in bed.  We snuggled and visited and laughed for awhile before both of our tummies started grumbling.  We went to the kitchen, me still in my pjs and Abby in a princess costume and ate the banana muffins we made together yesterday, fresh strawberries and cheese.  We both were chilly since I left the windows open the night before to air out the house a bit after some hot humid days.  We ran to the couch, grabbed a blanket and a stack of books.  We ignored the phone as it rang and stayed snuggled under our fuzzy blanket.  Abby had the urge to color and did so as I started in on some laundry and cleaned the kitchen.  Josie woke from her nap and we headed out to London Drugs to pick up a few things.  Josie sat in the front basket, happy as a clam and Abby, held the side of the cart and skipped along the aisles with me, pausing to check out the clearance rack of toys. We met Jordan at home for lunch. While it was cooking in the oven, all four of us went into the backyard to play on the swingset for awhile.  When he left,  Josie went to sleep and Abby is currently sitting up in her room doing sewing cards.  And me? I’m sitting here on the computer trying to think of one good reason that it isn’t ideal for me to be a stay at home mom.  Trying to come up with one reason that this isn’t the best it could get for all 4 of us.

 

The benefits are endless.  You never have to leave the house in the winter. I’m there for my girls and my man 24 hours a day, whenever they need me.  The house is clean.  The cupboards are always overflowing.  The girls are happy, healthy, smiling, bright.  During nap time, I have the time to do other things that I find fullfilling.  After working all day, Jordan comes home to a good meal and a happy, rested, well adjusted kids and a wife who’s pretty sure her life couldn’t get any better.  Everyone’s needs are met. We have time for each other. We never have to wake anyone to rush out the door to daycare in the morning.  We can go with the flow.  We don’t have to squish a day full of housework and together time into a few short hours in the evening. It really really works for us.

I have so enjoyed staying home with my girls and have not once wished I would be working.  Those moments of snuggling your little baby all afternoon, or getting your sick little toddler comfy with a snack, a blanket and a favorite t.v. show, of picking up your excited preschooler from her first day of preschool, watching those first steps, encouraging those first words, placing a crayon in your little one’s hand for the very first time, teaching your daugter to bake cookies – those moments are irreplaceable, you can never request a do-over and they mean the world to me.

I know I am so fortunate that I am able to be a stay at home mom. We are blessed with Jordan’s job and with his willingness to be our bread winner.  With this luxury of staying home, of course comes with sacrifices too.  Our house is modest, we have one vehicle, we aren’t the world travellers we hoped we would be.  But at the end of my life I’m sure I’d regret lack of time spent with my children over an extra few hundred square feet on our house.

That’s why I do what I do.